Sunday, March 29, 2009

any other world

i've been thinking about things lately, wondering why for so long i was filled with anger, resentment, frustration, sadness... a few nights ago i realized what it was, it was so blatantly obvious i can hardly believe i hadnt realized it before.

pride

my pride was broken, alongside my heart. however, it was my pride that held on for so long. my whole world had made a crash landing, i would lose the world i had become so comfortable in. i was embarrassed...what would the others think of me? it was pretty selfish, i'll admit.

though, when i recognized the problem...everything i had been feeling vanished. i still had the broken heart sure, but the anger, everything else, was gone. i no longer cared about him, i no longer worried what he thought about me, and i also no longer cared if i never saw him again. it wasnt out of anger like the last time, but the realization that i cant fix everything, not everything will go my way, sometimes the only choice is to go forward, to move on. i felt for the first time, a sense of hope, i was beginning to truly let go.

the journey is not yet complete, but it gets better every single day. i wake up happier than i did the day before, my smiles feel more real, i feel myself finally being able to breathe, i am becoming alive, whole, once again.

so...to sum it up.

Any Other World - Mika

Sunday, March 22, 2009

can't go back now

i suppose to sum it all up. this song represents how i am feeling at the moment. maybe i'll start doing this at the end of each post, put the song that shows how im feeling. that might be interesting, to see if theres a change over time. anywho. for now here it is.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

too close to home

the reason i put melissa's limo ride up is because it hit really close to home. the reasons that jason gave her and what he did to her were almost spot on to what happened with me. it was so close to home that i got up and locked myself in my room before jason told the other girl, molly, how he wanted to be with her instead.

here is what he said



the second part




and the post below is the limo with melissa

Melissa Limo Bachelor

He chose Melissa then changed his mind. He wouldn't fight for her.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

trip to provo

hey sorry it gets a bit blurry for a few seconds.


video