Life's what you make it

i edited down the original version, it has music to it, it is just the highlights. for full details and what we say and such watch the whole thing in the post below.

Las Vegas

my trip to vegas with lisa and dakota! it's like a half hour long but it's pretty good :)

Little Bird

my first blog

yes i know i said i wouldnt do youtube but i couldnt get it to work otherwise

A change in me

a few years ago i wrote a play for my ward's youth. who would have thought that i'd be able to link it to my future self

the lyrics are dead on.

i resolve

im liking youtube lately

I have a dream

im back baby (on facebook)

i made it an entire week! i actually accomplished this! holla atcha gurl

i got on this morning super pumped, and i told myself that at 9:45 am i have to get to class.
at 10:15 am i realized that it was way passed the time i needed to leave and class had already begun. oops. heh.

the week without facebook wasn't too bad, at least it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.

it may surprise people at how happy i have been lately.

when i did get back on facebook, after a while i started to notice i was getting peeved and bitter. i found myself getting frustrated with certain people once again. yes im still currently on it, but im not looking through it, i have other sites up to occupy my time between classes. idk, im not saying that i was entirely happy because of not being on facebook, but it is possible that it played a part. probably because i wasnt constantly being reminded of certain people. what am i doing, anyone who is reading this knows exactly who im talking about.

oh paulina told me i have a new reader. Hello Ernesto, hope all is well. consider joining the quidditch team.

that would be the only reason i would go to Carleton, for the quidditch teams that paulina has told me about.

also, paulina, put up your shexy dancing videos. it's been like...a few days? since you told me about them. haha. (yeah that how impatient i am)

i got a letter from ron yesterday, it was pretty much the delicious brownie of my day. :)

i also got a good grade on my memory paper i wrote a few weeks ago. i'll put it up for you to read soon.

ALSO, another also

my sister found my CD for my camcorder that i need and is shipping it to me!! when i get it i am thinking of starting a video blog. please tell me what you think about this.

that is all. :)

Enjoy

this morning as i was waiting for lisa to get ready for church, i saw this music video. so then after church i decided to watch the whole thing and then i found two other videos that i also really like. all three really portray how i've been feeling.






this one, picture to burn, is fun and i love it. i have some business to take care of and actually get to burning myself, im just having a struggle figuring out where to have a bonfire that wont actually stare a huge fire. im afraid of explosions...





this one is probably my current feeling and mood lately. :)

he's just not that into you (Day Four)

i just got back from seeing "he's just not that into you" with lisa and erica.

it came out february 6th

one month EXACTlY from january 6th

i saw the movie at 9:35 PM

pretty much the EXACT same time that tony texted that he didnt love me anymore

Irony anyone?

anywho. im way stoked to see this movie. i thought i wasnt gonna be able to see it because lisa said she was waiting to see it with her sister the next weekend, britt is out of town, erica was supposed to go to las vegas this weekend, and kristen was working. so needless to say i was pretty bummed most of this week thinking i'd either go see it by myself or somehow watch it online...

let me just say this. ever since i started reading my scriptures daily, morning and night, i have noticed a dramatic change in my life. i am happier, i am doing better in school etc. so i strongly believe in the power of the scriptures, however, this morning, as i was praying, i asked that i would find someone who would go to the movie with me tonight...i so badly wanted to go and that would He please bless me and make that happen.

i end my prayer and go take a shower and when i got out and i was getting dressed for the day, i couldnt help by over hear erica and kristen talking. erica said that she was no longer going to vegas this weekend, but next weekend. and i was like OH MY GOSH! she can come to the movie now! yay! and then later that night, as me lisa and erica were leaving miss SUU pageant, lisa decides she can see the movie twice :)

we even got good seats...and the theater was PACKED

the lights go down and the previews start, and the first two previews i've already seen before when the screen gets dark..and i see a cloudy Warner Brothers logo...and my heart starts beating quickly...i know that logo....no way...oh my gosh...HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THIS NIGHT COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE BETTER! AHHHHH

you know, like my family says, the previews can make or break a movie.

i cannot WAIT for july! :) :) :) :):)

it looks amazing

now now, the movie begins and me and lisa talked earlier about trying to identify with one of the characters. as the movie starts i immediately think, oh im Gigi, the obsessive one that waits by the phone and cyber stalks and tries to "accidentally" bump into the guy...yeah...

however, at the end of the movie, i realize...that i identify with Janine, the woman who her husband cheats on her. i didnt think her at first because tony never cheated on me but the husband said that he used to love his wife he just wasnt ready for marriage when he got married...and then...theres a line at the end where it focuses on Janine's character about...moving on. i dont remember it exactly but it really struck me. about being on my own now and learning who i am and moving on. i actually wanted to cry because it really hit home. i was slightly envious of her though because she at least got to throw his stuff out and take her hurt and anger out on him. which, let me tell you, would have been SOOO nice to just have been able to run into this closet and throw everything out...i think its therapeutic. but i do have some things i need to take care of to help me move on.

the first song of the credits was "friday im in love" ...a song tony gave me on a cd of how he felt about me. before the break up a few months before, lisa made a cd of songs from my itunes...and a lot of the songs were the ones tony gave me. i cant stand listening to them but i dont want to tell lisa to turn the music off because she really likes those songs, it reminds her of her soon to be boyfriend (come valentines day weekend).

i do not mean for this to be a depressing entry. for that is not what it is about. i have kissed my toad but now it's time for me and someday, someone who truly loves me, will give me everything i ever wanted and what i thought was happiness then will seem to be nothing compared to the bliss that will be my ever after.

Day 2

Day two of no facebook for a week is pretty much complete. it was overall a pretty good day. however, i am a bit bummed at the lack of notifications i have NOT been receiving. you see, things get sent to my email but it is NOT cheating, because tony sent me a link and i cant click on it cuz it has the word facebook in the link and i dont want to be directed to facebook cuz that would be catastrophic.

but yeah basically im very disappointed in the lack of discouragement i have been receiving from my facebook friends. i thought i would get more than one "you're not gonna do it" comment.

i know i know it's only been two days but COME ON i have gotten more notifications in an hour than i have these past few days. woe is me.

anywho, enough of my complaining of how unpopular i am.

in history class today we watched a video. exciting? not quite. could he not find a better history channel special on the aftermath of the revolutionary war? (shay's rebellion etc) IT WAS ANIMATED!!!!! like emo looking animation. i actually like human reenactments...i know they wouldnt be accurate but a cartoon reenactment isnt anymore accurate

english was ghastly. im really appalled at how little we are actually doing. it's just.....slfjsldkfjds

oh but what i did find amusing today was this. you see, my english class seems to be full of loudmouth NON MORMONS...and they like to make sure everyone knows they are NOT MORMON. they will swear in class and they will talk about how hung over they are. like today, this girl was saying she was so hung over (to the teacher, thats how relaxed this class is) cuz she had a bad day yesterday so she drank a lot last night. a tuesday...really? but anywho, another girl (who i think is mormon) says shes having a bad day (this is few minutes later) and then the teacher says why dont you party? and she goes, there arent really any parties here..and then the hung over girl says, thats not true. and then i just smirked because i thought, oh you sad sad little utah girl. you've never been to a real party before (neither have i but i have heard of them) and i wanted to tell her this but i refrained. i try to keep my sassy comments to myself.

after class me and lisa went to eat lunch at the great harvest bread thing and i got the tuscan chicken panini OH MY GOSH SOOOOO GOOD! and yes i got everything on it and yes you all are right and having all the ingredients does make it taste better! gosh

we then went to go look at our possible new living arrangements for next year. it's this amazing house thing town house thing, three levels, up main and basement. aaaamaaaaazing. it's just wow! lisa took pictures but i do have a link.

http://idxpro.cisdata.net/AR225918/Search/details/?mls_id=UT-ICBOR&mls_no=45097&from=ht

lisa's parents are thinking of buying one and then letting me and lisa live there along with other girls renting it out for the school year. the realter..realtor..I DONT KNOW...said that we could get three other girls to pay 300 a month and that would pay the mortgage. basically me and lisa would live in the master suite, it has a HUGE walk in closet, a shower and then a separate JACUZZI bathtub. there are three and a half bathrooms total in the house, the kitchen is completely furnished, there are four bedrooms. and there is a washer and dryer on the top floor.
it's basically perfection and me and lisa really want to live there. erica might join us too.

i did some homework today. english nonsense. but i did some of it. i tend to procrastinate and not do it till the last minute, and the english responses arent due till spring break so im being a really good student haha.

i've also watch all of kelly clarkson music videos, i really like

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdxRS_GyBbM&feature=channel_page

and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svxP2LjBg_4&feature=channel_page

oh i've also been watching more of the communitychannel. she is funny, i enjoy her.

anywho, thats my day. im surviving. ROAR

Day One: No FB for a week

I am close to finishing day one of a week without facebook. now i know you're asking, why are you doing this courtney? you always have thought that people who do this are being stupid. well, a few people have told me that i need to find myself and strangely...not keep in contact with people from home as often as i do. now i have my suspicions where that one came from.

yesterday was quite the day, lots of things happened and my mind was quite literally blown. nasty clean up job. so last night i really wanted to talk about what was all happening to someone who also knows what is all happening. however that person did as they almost always had in the past and said "im busy!!!" well fine fine, but this is HUGE and yes i would like to talk about it and you're the only one i CAN talk to about this so please if you could have been so kind to have made some time for me. but nope. *shrug*

and then, another one of my friends starts texting me and this person eventually says that i need to take some time for myself and not sit around trying to get people to talk to me. now those are the exact words, i really wish i hadnt deleted my entire messages, but my message box was getting full. sigh.

also, those two people who i had exchanged texts with last night, they used to hate each other and now suddenly...are they bff's??? it might seem so as they talk an awful lot.

now isnt this interesting....one says "im busy" the other says, "stop texting people and learn to talk to yourself!"

i do talk to myself, i spend prolly TOO much time talking to myself! what do ppl think i do at night? i dont just instantly fall asleep, no it takes me a while to fall asleep. so in the meantime i ponder to myself.

ok. for the reason i decided to stay off facebook for a week.

i do spend an awful lot of time on there, and i guess the idea of seeing what i'd do without it intrigues me.

what did i do today?
school, radio show, and...aim, gmail, and my new thing on youtube Communitychannel. i think her video blogs are hilarious and fun to watch. i have wanted my own video blog for a while but my webcam is a piece of crap (wont record video even though it should) and my camcorder...well i lost the cd that is supposed to be installed on my laptop so i can upload my videos. (something of which has been bothering me all month long well the past couple weeks)

i also watched american idol. starting to get back into that show. prolly cuz i havent found anything better to do.

let me tell you, i dont watch tv that often. i watch two hours on monday for the bachelor and then i watch the office on thursdays. thats it. sometimes i'll watch random things to kill time but the tv is not where i like to spend my time.

well. day one is almost complete. i just might read a book or get back on gmail because im trying to send my radio show to someone. alright. pip pip cheerio

st. george's musical

today lisa and i went to st. george to go shopping and eat an in n out :)
it was really really fun. i wanted heels, because i have decided to start wearing heels.

i got two shirts from buckle, both on sale like 11 dollars each. holla!
i tried on four shirts though.lisa picked this out for me but it was too big so i didnt get it.


i actually really liked this shirt, it was a really pretty fabric and shirt. unfortunately it was too big so i didnt get it.however, i did this get one. the pattern is fun and it fit well. plus it was only 11 dollars.

i also got this one. it's orange haha. but it is a cool design and i liked it.

then we went to american eagle. i tried on jeans. i first went to what i believed my size was. size four. however, i knew that it wouldnt be so because my current jeans always stretch and im always having to pull them up. with or without a belt too. well my belts are shoe laces but still. and idk, the fit isnt right. anywho. so i decide, im going to get jeans that fit. so i grab some size two's too. but. alas. size two is too big, in the butt area, you see, i have no butt so i have to remain in kiddy sizes, so...i go pick out some zeros. i am currently sitting at a size zero.these are the jeans i bought. they fit really well. even in the butt :)

we eventually go into journeys to look at shoes when the salesman starts immediately hitting on lisa. saying to me, dont you think your friend is so pretty? dont you think your friend has such beautiful eyes? and that smile? you must hate her for stealing all the boys away! wow just look at her clear skin! etc etc...

she buys shoes and i buy some really cool amazing awesome socks. seriously. they are amazing i dont own any pair like it. im excited to wear them. most of my readers will see the socks, however not all.

i ate at In n Out! mm mm taasty!






such good burgers.

the next part of our trip was to find the golf course where they filmed High School Musical 2, as it was filmed in st. george.

we found it a couple hours later once the sun started to set and we decided to ask for directions.

The Ledges Golf Club

now it says The Ledges. it does.
it got dark and i used flash..but...
lisa pictures didnt turn out either.

but thats not the point.
the point is we were in the same place
that Zac Efron was once in.

we proceeded to do random lines of "Bet on it"





when we got back we went to the SUU mens basketball game. they were play west illinois. i learned that suu is in division one? what? idk. i didnt think we were that good but i guess its about size.

anywho. afterwards me britt and lisa made puppy chow and watched shes all that. oh man. such a silly movie. freddie prince jr is hot though. :)

weird fact. james mcavoy is 29 and his wife is 38. I DO NOT APPROVE. shes not even that pretty, he could do so much better. like me ;)